How First Getting Neutral changes your effect on others

The First Rule of Inner Peace explains Jesus’ teaching on dealing with people who frustrate you.  Endorsed by Jean Vanier and many others, this is a must-read book for anyone feeling trapped, blamed or powerless with a family of origin sibling or parent, spouse, friend or colleague. This teaching unlocks, strengthens and reshapes the core of your character.

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Watch author John Kuypers on the meaning of taking the plank out of your eye and having lasting inner peace.

“This little book can have far-reaching consequences if we learn and live it. Seeking peace is like seeking wisdom. We need help to put order especially into our disordered relationships.

Peace is not absence of war.  It is to be in communion with those whom we tend to push aside. Peace is not a flower we can pick. It is a loaf of bread which we have to make and bake. We have to work at it.

The FIRST RULE of INNER PEACE can help us see what is disordered. Then we can “work at it” so we can eat bread together.”

Jean Vanier, Trosly, France Founder, L'Arche homes for the intellectually disabled
Greg Paul, pastor & author, Founder, Sanctuary Ministries of Toronto

"If you think that inner peace is impossible, impractical or too simplistic, you must read this powerful little book."

Bishop Douglas Crosby, Diocese of Hamilton, Canada

"I have read it with interest and am sure it will be helpful to people who are struggling with relationships and anxiety."

Ida Kaastra-Mutoigo, Ontario, Director, World Renew Canada

"Healthy relationships with those we love and even world peace itself could be realized if everyone discovers and practices such truth."

Emma Sobel, Toronto Canada, Business professional

"This book inspired me to learn to "shift to neutral" more often. I reflected on the times in my life when I thought I had really been able to do this and realized that I had indeed had more positive results than the times when I had been anxious or grasping or wanting."

Denise Rendulich, Teacher, wife, mother

"It makes me think God and I are a team, which is important for someone like me who can't just give up all responsibility, and that if I stop being so stubborn I may see the answer."

Dr. Chuck Crisco, Tennessee, Pastor & author

"Much of the assault on our peace is self-induced, but John Kuypers helps us navigate simple and effective ways to regain our footing, and thereby regain our life.  Powerful. Grace-filled. Practical!"

“I read your book The First Rule of Inner Peace recently and want to say that it is really excellent. While reading it, I realized that I spend a  lot of time in spiritual directions trying to communicate what you call the neutrality principle. I find I am not always good at expressing it successfully to the many souls that need to hear this. I have now found a great resource to help me with this: your book! In fact, there are individuals at the moment that I need to give them a copy ASAP.

I have read many books about self surrender and abandonment to God written by religious and priests  but it is great to have something written from your layman perspective. It is a great advantage because the language you use will penetrate very easily with people. Also, I find you have learned so well from your past life and have great insights here. Thank you for all the good work you do. God bless.”

Fr Kenneth Leblanc Legionaries of Christ, Oakville, Canada
Dr. Josie Lombardi, Professor, St. Augustine's Seminary, Toronto, Canada

“It is evident that you are a man who has worked on himself with great humility. You have responded to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Your message is needed in all contexts: marriage, workplace, ministry, etc. I will be promoting your book everywhere I go.”

Cam Johnson, Ontario, Author, Lost & Found

“Your book has had a profound impact on me. Your words still echo in me of the importance of living in the present and to not judge other’s actions based on what I think I know.”

Marjorie Gilmore, Illinois, Entrepreneur, mother

"I was having trouble with my son but after reading your book and operating from a place of love and compassion (along with being in neutral about some issues we were having), he has changed 110%!"

Cindy-Marie Lefort, New York

"Simply amazing!!! I totally love the book.  I like how you talk about something and then give an example or an analogy.   This touches my life at a time when I need it the most.  Thank you!"

When I got to the section about your struggles in dealing with your father I literally started sobbing – it surprised me actually. This part really struck an emotional chord with me. Having lost my father 2 years ago without ever really knowing him, it was quite a trigger for me. It made me realize how his death (and life) has affected me. I have been suppressing my feelings for so long. Thank you for allowing me to finally see this.

- Chantelle Laprairie, Ontario, Canada

I have read your book, and I also gave it to my colleague here at Knox, the Rev. Jacqui Foxall, to read.  It was a very interesting read, and one that surprised both of us.  After more than 30 years in Ministry I have become suspicious of 'How To...' books, or the '...Steps To...' philosophies, and so I have to be honest and acknowledge that I found the first few chapters of your book somewhat irritating as it seemed to be just another 'How To/Steps To' book.  I almost didn't read any further.  However, I'm glad I did read the whole book, because by the end I found myself saying, 'Now I get it.'  What is particularly interesting is that my colleague had exactly the same reaction.

Reverend Mike Marsden
Knox Presbyterian Church, Oakville, Canada